Meet The Slumpers

  • Sarah: The occasional slumper

    The occasional slumper

    Will experience occasional dips. Has little trouble giving up fixes if there’s a good enough reason, and can take or leave substances like fizzy drinks or cake.

    Case Study: Sarah, 29

    Fix: Tea & biscuits

    Her Story: ‘Who doesn’t like a lovely cuppa? It’s my cure-all beverage of choice for any time of day and the first drink to touch my lips in the morning. Without my brew, I’m moody. People laugh about the fact that I have a teapot in my office – it doesn’t stop them popping by for a cup though. In fact, when the tea’s on, the room becomes a kind of drop-in centre for the recently-dumped, over-spent and generally grumbly of my colleagues and friends. I don’t mind, although I wish they’d be less light-fingered with my biscuits.

    On my desk (apart from the usual clutter of paper and pens) are: teapot, digestives, tissues, Daily Energiser vitamins (the only ones I have ever actually liked taking - and I’m fussy, make no mistake). Everything in line, because I’m weird like that. That probably says it all.

    I’m not that much of a slumper, but I have my moments. Sometimes I’m sure it’s boredom-induced, other times I just feel a bit spent and need a pick-me-up.’

    It’ll be fine…have a cup of tea.

  • Jess: The habitual slumper

    The habitual slumper

    The habit of using quick fixes like caffeine and sugar may have started to cause slumping issues and impair daily functioning. May give up fixes if there’s a sufficiently compelling reason (e.g. weight control, health and relationship problems) but will find it hard.

    Case Study: Jess, 27

    Fix: Coffee and cake

    Her Story: ‘I like a cup of coffee in the morning when I get to work, then another at about 11. If I’m out to lunch, I’ll have a post-lunch espresso too. And if it’s a long afternoon, I’ll have a cappuccino at about 3 o’clock. This will usually be accompanied by cake, carrot cake being my preference, or maybe a nice éclair on a Friday.

    I always thought it was normal to get a 3 o’clock dip (actually, it’s from about 2.30pm until I go home from work). Unfortunately, I‘ve recently noticed that a virtuous friend of mine who only does decaf and herbal (no sugar) doesn’t seem to have the same problem. Oh and unsurprisingly, she’s very slim.

    It’s usually when my slightly tired face also looks like a chubby face that I decide to make a few changes. Oh, and when my boyfriend got me a coffee bean grinder for my birthday. Enough said.’

    More coffee anyone?

  • Mel: The anti-social slumper

    The anti-social slumper

    Stuck in a cycle of one quick fix leading to another. Heavy dependence on tea, coffee and cake can lead to embarrassing energy dips and impromptu napping at social occasions and in public places.

    Case Study: Mel, 35

    Fix: Energy drinks and fizzy drinks

    Her Story: ‘I first realised I was a major slumper at a recent work do. I looked back at the photos and thought I looked shattered. On closer inspection, it actually looks like my eyes may have been shut. I know some of my colleagues are boring, but that’s ridiculous, especially since I was quaffing on Coca Cola most of the time I was there.

    I turned to Slumpers Anonymous when people at work started calling me dormouse. I was worried that one day someone would find me in the stationary cupboard with my head against a pile of A5 notepads, grabbing a bit of shut-eye on the sly.’

    What was that? I nodded off

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